Alone and rudderless in New York, he is taken in by the family of a wealthy friend. He is tormented by an unbearable longing for his mother, and down the years clings to the thing that most reminds him of her: a small, strangely captivating painting that ultimately draws him into the criminal underworld. As he grows up, Theo learns to glide between the drawing rooms of the rich and the dusty antiques store where he works. He is alienated and in love – and his talisman, the painting, places him at the centre of a narrowing, ever more dangerous circle.
“you can look at a picture for a week and never think of it again. you can also look at a picture for a second and think of it all your life.”
first impressions: falling in love with the goldfinch, twice
I had fallen in love with The Goldfinch after seeing the movie adaptation, and I was so excited to read Donna Tartt’s book. I knew that my love for this story would transcend mediums, and based on how much I adored the movie, I knew I would feel the same exact way about the book. If anything, I was anticipating liking the book even more, since I usually enjoy the book more than its movie counterpart in adaptations. And Donna Tartt did not disappoint me, even in the slightest.
I think what helped elevate my experience while reading this book was the time at which I read it. I read this book in October, and reading this book during the fall was the perfect move. While the story itself takes place throughout all of the seasons, the book really encapsulated the vibe of autumn in my eyes, and I absolutely loved this. It was a more serious book than the ones I usually read, and certainly more philosophical than my usual choices. But this didn’t take away any of my love for the story, and I found myself thinking of this book long after I finished it.
While I was watching it, I did find myself comparing the book to the movie, and vice versa. I was very happy with the adaptation, and it was interesting to read the book after I had already seen the movie. I don’t feel it took away from the story, and if anything, I think it just fostered a deeper connection. I knew going into it what the story would be, but I didn’t know how Tartt would portray it, or how the experience would differ between watching it and reading it. Overall, I pleasantly enjoyed both media formats, but especially enjoyed the book.
“caring too much for objects can destroy you. only—if you care for a thing enough, it takes on a life of its own, doesn’t it? and isn’t the whole point of things—beautiful things—that they connect you to some larger beauty?”
the story: a study in grief and beauty
The Goldfinch had such a beautiful and captivating story, and everything felt as though it fit together perfectly. I loved the feelings and themes Tartt portrayed, and this book took such an interesting approach to handling grief and how it might show up in different people. Theo provided an interpretation of grief that I have not seen often, and it was interesting to see the different coping mechanisms he used to get through this very dark time in his life. For Theo, the painting of the Goldfinch served as a memory of his mother, and while ethnically he knew it was wrong to keep the painting, he morally couldn’t give it up. By letting go of the painting, this meant letting go of his mother, which created a devastating predicament for him. He had to battle with what he knew he should do and what he had to do to survive this period in his life, and I loved getting a deeper look into how grief affects your actions, and how this can put someone in a very troubling situation.
“when you feel homesick,’ he said, ‘just look up. because the moon is the same wherever you go.”
the relationship: a first love
My favorite aspect of this story was the relationship between Boris and Theo, and I first fell in love with them while watching the movie. I loved how Tartt portrayed their relationship in the book, and there was an even deeper complexity lying in the book than I had seen before. When they first met, they quickly became quite close, bordering on friends and something more. While it was heavily implied that there was something more romantic happening between them, Tartt explored the themes of connection during times of hardship and the evolving relationships throughout the course of the story. It felt like Boris was Theo’s first love, someone he clung to when he was struggling with his own family dynamics. They found each other in times of such darkness, and I thought it was brutally tragic watching as they grew so close, but eventually fell apart due to time and the distance between them.
“i had the epiphany that laughter was light, and light was laughter, and that this was the secret of the universe.”
the writing: every detail mattered
Donna Tartt was so descriptive with her language, and there was no aspect of the book that felt unimportant. Tartt wrote and described everything with a purpose, and this made the book so much more meaningful to me. She created this vivid world, and Tartt’s beautiful writing caused this story to start to blend into my own life. Each new location that we found ourselves in brought new characters and new experiences, and Theo got to explore multiple new dynamics as he battled these different stages of his life.
“we can’t make ourselves want what’s good for us or what’s good for other people. we don’t get to choose the people we are.”
final thoughts: prepare to be changed
I found myself falling in love with the passion and the energy surrounding the artwork, and how
passionately Tartt wrote. This book was honestly one of the more beautiful stories I have ever read, and while it is a very intense read, I would certainly recommend this book if you have the capacity to do so. Prepare for it to hit you very deeply and very strongly, but it is such a beautiful experience that I can promise you you won’t regret it. Good luck, everyone, and happy reading!
As one of seven young actors studying Shakespeare at an elite arts college, Oliver and his friends play the same roles onstage and off: hero, villain, tyrant, temptress, ingenue, extra. But when the casting changes, and the secondary characters usurp the stars, the plays spill dangerously over into life, and one of them is found dead. The rest face their greatest acting challenge yet: convincing the police, and themselves, that they are blameless.
“per aspera ad astra.” i’d heard a variety of translations, but the one i liked best was “through the thorns, to the stars”
first impressions: a tragedy written for me
I had heard about If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio on many social media sites, and I was instantly drawn to the story. The plot, focusing on seven Shakespearean students as they navigate their lives through a tragedy, was written for me. Of course it wasn’t, but it felt like the perfect story, exactly what I wanted to read. I am definitely one for dark academia, boarding school mysteries, and being centered around Shakespeare? It was my perfect read.
Reading If We Were Villains was one of the best choices I have ever made. It easily became my favorite book of all time, and I have yet to read another story that I love as much as this. This review is actually coming after my third reread of the book, because I simply could not get enough of it. I wanted to read it again and again, and I don’t think I could ever read it too many times. Each time I read, I only grew more connected to it, finding new details that had gone unnoticed and having a deeper understanding of the stories and characters.
“you can justify anything if you do it poetically enough”
the story: everything happens quietly
What first drew me in, and what continued to keep me connected to the book, was the storyline. In the beginning, we are introduced to certain events that occur, and as the story progresses, we see these events unfolding and their consequences. Rio did a fantastic job at keeping readers engaged, and it felt as though the story was happening all around me. I was immersed in a world that felt so authentic, and the characters’ rash decisions and the choices they made, and their consequences felt heavily realistic. As much as I might have wanted to, I could not pull my eyes away, feeling hypnotized by the story but terrified of what might happen next.
Another aspect of the story that I absolutely loved, and I applaud Rio so much for this, was that everything in this story happened quietly. The story is centered around a mystery, but what it’s really focused on is the aftermath and the unraveling that occurs in times of high stress and tension. There was never any loud action, never a shout or a yell. Sure, harsh words were exchanged, and the tension was so strong you could wield a knife and cut it. But everything happened in a whisper, so quiet that if you made no sound, it felt as though you could pretend that it wasn’t happening. That if you didn’t speak it, you wouldn’t have to believe it.
“which of us could say we were more sinned against than sinning? we were so easily manipulated – confusion made a masterpiece of us”
the characters: seven students, seven tragedies
This quiet unraveling worked so well for our characters, and I feel I was really able to get to know them by getting inside their heads. Rio wrote them in such a way that I was able to really connect with them, in all of their complexity and instability. And there was certainly enough complexity to go around. Oliver, especially, caused me to look deeply into his character and wonder what was going on inside his head. By seeing the story through his lens, readers were only able to go off of what he determined to be the truth. Through an unreliable narrator, Rip perfectly encapsulated the descent into madness throughout these characters’ friendships and relationships, and I wondered how much of what Oliver was thinking was actually the truth.
As their acting lives began to blend into their real lives, it was difficult for them to maintain their characters on and off-stage, and it was so captivating to watch as they battled with keeping themselves alive as their characters began to drown them out. Could we believe Oliver, or were we just witnessing his own descent into madness? I loved being able to think of these questions while reading, and it made reading this story a much more engaging and thought-provoking experience.
Each character felt so different from one another, each with their own personalities and desires. I loved how, even though we were told the story of If We Were Villains primarily through Oliver’s perspective, this didn’t stop us from still being able to thoroughly understand the other characters of the story. Each one was filled with depth and intricacy, never feeling as though we were only given the surface value of who they are at their core.
The characters’ connections to each other were also interesting to see play out, with multiple dynamics occurring at once. We were able to see Richard and Wren’s family dynamic, along with the potential romances between Oliver and Meredith and James and Wren, at one point. But what I loved most about these connections was seeing them through Oliver’s point of view. Oliver sees James and Wren becoming closer, and he believes that this must be a romantic development between them. But in reality, James and Oliver had been battling their growing feelings for each other quietly, and it was interesting to see what Oliver presumed to be true and what was actually the truth.
“were you in love with him?” “yes, i was.” it’s not the whole truth. the whole truth is, i’m in love with him still”
the relationships: oliver and james, a burning flame
These relationships between them ran so deep, and this immense connection to them I felt caused
me to be devastated by the end of the book. I so deeply loved Oliver and James’s relationship because of how intense and tragic it was, and how long both of their feelings had gone unspoken. The passion was always there, feeling connected to each other in a way that they could not explain, and that they would never feel with anyone else. But they had gone through the entire book unknowingly of what the other felt, and they were only able to experience these feelings with each other for a moment before everything crashed down around them. It is so emotionally devastating, and I can barely think about their relationship without tearing up. They loved each other in such an intricate and complex way that it didn’t present itself as a “normal” relationship, and this went unrecognized until it was too late.
Rio wrote a beautiful representation of a queer relationship, focusing on the quiet signs and realizations of being queer without explicitly stating the fact. Both James and Oliver had such intense longings for one another, but these feelings weren’t realized at first. They simply believed it was passion for one another, a deeper connection that they couldn’t understand. But Rio perfectly encapsulated the moment of realizing what these feelings are, and the timing of this understanding could not have been more tragic.
“but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lear breaks your heart—by making you believe that the ending might still be happy, until the very last minute”
the ending & final thoughts: the fall of the curtain
By the end of the book, I had already fallen in love with the story, and I was in anticipation of a devastating ending. It was certainly a tear-inducing read, but I found myself loving it through all of the tears. It ended in a tragedy, but that is what made this story so perfect. Just like Shakespeare’s tragic plays, the story was not going to end happily for all of our characters. But it wrapped up so beautifully, and by the final page, I knew I had just read something so special. I want to thank M.L. Rio for all of the time and energy she spent on this story, and how much this book means to so many readers like me. I urge everyone reading this to please go read If You Were Villains if you have not already, and I can promise that you will not be disappointed. Happy Reading!